On the 20th of March 2008, I went to Medan. My family took the newest airplane, it was called 'Lion Air Boeing 737-900ER'. On the airplane, the air always blocked my ears.
When I had arrived at the airport, my ears weren't blocked again. Then my father's auntie picked us up. We ate lunch first. Then we went to my father's moms' hospital.
My mom and dad had a meeting with our other relatives. Then I went to my father's aunties' house. At her house we unpacked. Me, my mom and Jessy showered first then my dad showered. Then we ate dinner. Then went to my aunt's house again to sleep.
The next day we went to Pakam to see my mom's cousin. Then we went to Batangkuis to see my grandma's sister but from my dad's side.
Then we went to Tebing Tinggi to buy sticky rice cake (lemang) with kaya. Then we went to Pematang Siantar and we bought a rectangle shaped peanut candy. We also met my dad's relative.
Then we went to Parapat and went to our hotel (The Lake Toba Hotel). Then we ate chinese food for dinner at Asia Restaurant. Then we went to the hotel to sleep.
At the next day we changed rooms because the first room that we stayed at was dirty but the second one was cleaner and much more better. Then me and Jessy went fishing in Lake Toba. After that we went to Samosir Island.
At Samosir we took a Ferry. We drove around first. Then we ate lunch. We went fishing in the Carolina Hotel. Then we went back to the Ferry ship. It was so long to wait until we waited for 3 hours.
After waiting for 3 hours, the ferry came and we got on it. Then we went to the hotel again and ate dinner at Asia again. Then we slept in the hotel.
The next day we checked out from the hotel and went to Brastagi. At Brastagi we saw some hotels and we had to compare them. Then we chose the hotel and it was called "Sibayak Hotel".
We stayed in that hotel for one night. I ate dinner in Asia Restaurant again and went back to our hotel and slept. The next day we checked out and went back to Medan.
I saw a crocodile in the crocodile farm. Then we saw traditional markets in Medan. After that we went to the airport and flew in the same airline that we used from Jakarta.
Hi Sammy, I have corrected your story. It is very good. Please try to use past tense consistently and try making paragraphs. Your score is 9/10
1 comment:
On the 20th of March 2008, I went to Medan. My family took the newest airplane, it was called 'Lion Air Boeing 737-900ER'. On the airplane, the air always blocked my ears.
When I had arrived at the airport, my ears weren't blocked again. Then my father's auntie picked us up. We ate lunch first. Then we went to my father's moms' hospital.
My mom and dad had a meeting with our other relatives. Then I went to my father's aunties' house. At her house we unpacked. Me, my mom and Jessy showered first then my dad showered. Then we ate dinner. Then went to my aunt's house again to sleep.
The next day we went to Pakam to see my mom's cousin. Then we went to Batangkuis to see my grandma's sister but from my dad's side.
Then we went to Tebing Tinggi to buy sticky rice cake (lemang) with kaya. Then we went to Pematang Siantar and we bought a rectangle shaped peanut candy. We also met my dad's relative.
Then we went to Parapat and went to our hotel (The Lake Toba Hotel). Then we ate chinese food for dinner at Asia Restaurant. Then we went to the hotel to sleep.
At the next day we changed rooms because the first room that we stayed at was dirty but the second one was cleaner and much more better. Then me and Jessy went fishing in Lake Toba. After that we went to Samosir Island.
At Samosir we took a Ferry. We drove around first. Then we ate lunch. We went fishing in the Carolina Hotel. Then we went back to the Ferry ship. It was so long to wait until we waited for 3 hours.
After waiting for 3 hours, the ferry came and we got on it. Then we went to the hotel again and ate dinner at Asia again. Then we slept in the hotel.
The next day we checked out from the hotel and went to Brastagi. At Brastagi we saw some hotels and we had to compare them. Then we chose the hotel and it was called "Sibayak Hotel".
We stayed in that hotel for one night. I ate dinner in Asia Restaurant again and went back to our hotel and slept. The next day we checked out and went back to Medan.
I saw a crocodile in the crocodile farm. Then we saw traditional markets in Medan. After that we went to the airport and flew in the same airline that we used from Jakarta.
Hi Sammy,
I have corrected your story. It is very good. Please try to use past tense consistently and try making paragraphs. Your score is 9/10
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